i dont know why i feel the way i do.. with everything thats been going on i have people around me that need my attention every second and they have demands that apparently i have to meet.. im back at the point where i was even a year ago.. i have a feeling of such disgust with everyone and everything... and now im starting to resent a lot of people that are surrounding me. Im trying my best to love and cherish everybody because apparently its my job.. i only know how to fix things on my own and now im at a point where i dont know what to do. and you and everyone else expect me not to have an attitude or not to be upset.. everyone says its ok but doesnt let me have my space to deal with things the best way i know how... im not myself and im not sure what to tell you.. i cant even find the words to describe how i feel... anger isnt a strong enough words, sadness isnt a good enough term, hurt isnt good enough either.... even after everything that happened some way im still alone.. at this point and time be alone is what i have to do.. i need not to be tied down and fixed with other people but in my own strength that im trying to fester up i will do it on my own... ** your so anxeious to hear that i wad going to brake up with you... still wondering?...
at a point i just want all of this to be over... this is another time just like when i was thirteen years old. what happened wasnt a mistake.. that just might happened again im sure no one would mind... i wont be doing much loving these days..
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